During a time when growing up should be very exciting, it is causing tremendous stress to my almost 10 yr. old child.  The fear of the unknown, the concern over the what-ifs, the anxiety over lack of control is weighing heavily.  Why does change so often times feel emotionally painful for gifted children?  Does change cause emotional pain?

I can't point to any studies, but I watch my child's internal distress daily over this issue of transition from child to tween.  This all started with the pronouncement of said tween being ready for a "big kid" room.  Gone are the days of soft childish color palettes and bring on the big and the bold.  Great!  With a very clear plan we scoured the internet for that perfect new comforter that was going to POP.  After days of going back and forth the perfect comforter was found.  We were on our way.  With the new comforter was going to come a fresh coat of paint to the bedroom.  Excitedly, we went to the store, picked (no joke) 14 different shades of blue and over the next few days we selected the perfect shade of blue.  Great, done.  Now we were ready for the execution of said tween room --- or were we?  The over-excitabilites went into over-drive and everything came to a screetching halt!  Ahh, what I wouldn't give for "normal" right now. 

To not be over-thinking the final results.  To not be stressing over the emotional ties created over the old comforter or stuffed animals collected and what will happen to them.  To not have my child concerned over how the new room will feel -- familiar or foreign?  How the smell won't be the same or the fabric's texture would be different.  What happened to my excited child!  The one who started us down this path of needing, wanting to grow up?
 
As my child grows, I am astonished at the new hurdles that seem to crop up and stand in the way.  The need to wash the new comforter multiple times to break it in.  The need to ease into the new room by sleeping with the new bedset before the wall gets painted.  I am exhausted and I haven't even opened up the paint! 

What I found was that setting a time limit helped in reducing the duration of stressing out.  School break was coming up and that was the designated time to paint.  If my tween wasn't ready that was perfectly fine but the next available time was going to be summer.  That once the paint was purchased, we were comitted to making the changes once so excited about.

Trying to rationalize didn't work, trying to shut down the hole-digging wasn't going to be productive, but just listening (although the most difficult to accomplish) was what was needed most.

And so for the next week until painting is supposed to begin, we will be talking about, rehearsing various scenarios of, putting out stress fires for what is supposed to be an exciting transitional time in a child's life. 

We just have to get there! 

"Curiosity Corner" is a new blog created by Exceptional Kids.  From time to time, thoughts and opinions will be expressed here to share with  you.    Please   check   out   the   first   official   entry
LEGO, Girls ... Whatever and if you like what you see please share it with others.

Older posts from previous newsletters have now been linked to "Curiosity Corner" and can be viewed here.

Thank you for being the parents and educators of your exceptional kids!

If you were to ask anybody that really knows me they would be the first to tell you that I refuse to get sucked in to toy stereotypes. As the mother of girls I go out of my way to ensure that we are not a pink, fluffy house with toys that typecast girls.  When I go out and search for toys, my #1 priority is for the functionality and message of the toy and not the color they are trying to sell to the gender of my child.

So when the CCFC (Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood) came out with this year’s most controversial toys list naming one of my daughters’ favorite toys, I felt compelled to respond.  ‘LEGO Friends’, I feel, has been getting a harsh rap and I have to believe that their intentions are good – creating a line of LEGO-friendly products that attract girls to use their visual-spacial building skills that are so needed in the areas of math, science and engineering. 

The issues that surround advertising of products and the targeted gender has long been discussed, researched and debated.  It’s big business.  What has also been so often explored is why girls shy away from the maths, sciences, and engineering careers.  I believe that often, our girls are given toys that do not fully engage right brain development.  Girls tend to be verbal and creative creatures that love to use their imagination.  Walk into any toy store and you’ll find rows of toy babies, dolls, houses, and other colorful plastic figurines that can be moved around and tell stories with.  As fun as these are (and yes, we have some of these toys too) they do not encourage critical thinking and spatial-awareness skills. 

I love LEGO. My girls love LEGO.  And if they were given the choice, they would choose the opportunity to build their own creative world, rather than the pre-formed one that comes out of a box.  LEGO has always had a prominent place in our house and until recently we purposefully only owned the primary color sets of blocks.  Then ‘LEGO Friends’ came out.  Awesome! A toy celebrating being a girl AND using their visual-spacial skills to build, all the while using creative problem solving.  
 
Now, yes, I agree that that some of the ‘LEGO Friends’ sets do have overly girly themes.  But to LEGO’s credit there are themes covering science, design, medicine and outdoor fun too.  And let’s not forget that one of the main purposes to this toy line is to BUILD the set. That takes a certain level of skill. That is the skill that we want to be encouraging our girls to strengthen.  

It is okay to celebrate being a girl with a brain.  These LEGO girls are said to have curves and eye-lashes.  Well, yes, that is what a girl has.  These LEGO girls try to be culturally diverse and are dressed pretty respectfully (no cleavage or midriff).  So from this parent who will always choose any other color to pink, ‘LEGO Friends’ is on the right track.

Articles like "Against Accelerating the Gifted Child" posted in the New York Times (October 14th, 2012) frustrate me.  And although I usually don't write opinions on what I post (link included below) I felt compelled to reply to this one. The child in question is Tanishq, a 9 year old college student. The author to this article seems to be against accelerating a gifted child.
 
Does the author understand that Tanishq is of a level of giftedness that is like 2 in a million (according to Dr. Deborah Ruf in her book 5 Levels of Giftedness)? That Tanishq would not be an ideal example of acceleration for the more “typical” gifted child – if there even is such a thing?
 
The author also likes to point to a powerful document entitled
“A Nation Deceived”. That the data for research was gathered subjectively from gifted students themselves. Where else is this data supposed to come from? If you are researching the effects of abuse would you not talk to the victims?
 
The author is found saying that Maureen Neihart, and author for a report in the Gifted Child Quarterly warns that acceleration “may be harmful to unselected students who are arbitrarily accelerated on the basis of I.Q., achievement, or social maturity,”. Sure but what this author fails to mention is there is a great tool frequently used to ensure that all areas of a child’s live/world is considered before making an acceration decision “The IOWA Acceleration scale”. This tool was created for that very purpose of making sure that the decision was made looking at the whole
child and all of their needs. Anything is harmful if you don’t weight the pro’s and con’s seriously.
 
This author also mentions that “many of these students opt to repeat an eighth-grade year in order to gain maturity”. Well I’d like to meet one of those students of today’s world. She ends er article with wanting to give students “the gift of time. Time to develop, time to grow up, time to feel secure in themselves and their achievements.” Wonderful. Let’s do that. But why does it need to be wasted time. How are they going to feel secure in themselves if they are not allowed to achieve at the level they are capable. What message of self-confidence are we giving them? 

How about we give them the gift of for our accelerated students on the other end? Time between high school and college to travel. Time to explore their passions. Time to put their own unique mark on the world. That is truly a gift of time.

Evolution is defined as a process or growth and is something in
which our society continues to participate in this 21st century of
technology. It is, therefore, only natural that this newsletter evolves too.

The information you have been receiving here, and more, will now become instantly available to you as I discover it. So please come and join me on the Exceptional Kids Facebook page.

Spring is now upon us.  

For many this signals the end of the school year and the beginning of
summer break. This is a time when change happens to routine, structure, and playmates.  

Change, when seen as merely a shift, is a good thing.  Summertime brings with it a time of exploration, wonder, and adventure. It is a fantastic time for personal growth and experimentation for all that is new.

With so many natural disasters lately, it is almost unavoidable to shelter our children from learning about global tragedies.  We need to
be asking ourselves:  When is the right time to teach our children about some of the sad realities of our world?  Whose responsibility is it?  How much do we share with them?  Why is it important to control the rate of information flowing to young minds? 

Balancing the natural curiosity of gifted children with their excitable
tendencies and immense compassion for others is essential to maintaining that healthy line of not growing up too fast.

We live in a world that bombards us with messages from every
direction, emphasizing short cuts, and leading us to believe that 
‘faster is better’.  What has happened to the world that danced to the tune “Slow down, you movin too fast ...”? To foster the intellectual
growth and social development of a child takes time.  

It is a parental responsibility that should not be rushed.  Rather, it should be enjoyed, nurtured and cherished.  

Sometimes, however, it involves taking two steps back before going four
steps forward with positive and appropriate momentum.

This month I have a few fantastic gems for you that I gathered at the Illinois Association of Gifted Children (IAGC) conference.  It was a pleasure and honor to be one of the presenters again this year. 

If you have not had the opportunity to attend this conference, I highly recommend it – mark your calendars for February 5 through 7, 2012.  My website has also been updated with my latest IAGC journal publication and continues to archive previous newsletters.   

To read or not to read; that is the question. We often face this
dilemma when choosing books for our advanced, yet young readers. 
Is the content appropriate?
   
There are many fantastic books out there to entertain children with vivid
imaginations without parents worrying about language, fear, or mature
situations.

Check out my “bookshelves” of wonderful literary finds for young, avid readers.  Join my group Exceptional Kids – Exceptional Books
and share some of your literary finds.